Oscar Eichmann
Articles
Penn to Launch the LGBT Center Into Outer Space
April 4, 2022 at 10:23 am
Once all is lit, the combustion will get this sucker free from the homophobic waters within which it wades. We will go up, up, up and away, filling the void so woefully and ignorantly established at present by the lack of space-gays.
¡Dios Mio! Running Out of Buildings to Gentrify, Penn to Start Naming Toilets After Rich White Shits
February 17, 2022 at 10:56 am
Celebrate you. Celebrate poo.
Important Announcement From Amy Gutmann: This Is an Important Announcement From Amy Gutmann
February 10, 2022 at 9:34 am
Very Important Announcement From President Amy Gutmann Very Very Important Look Here Read Now Today Read
ESCANDALO: Penn to Replace Penn In-Touch With a Fax Machine
November 29, 2021 at 11:12 am
Your subjects will be out to you in five to eight business weeks.
Local White Guy Confused if Dressing up as Squid Game for Halloween Is Racist
October 26, 2021 at 11:39 pm
This saga of white Confucianism continues.
BREAKING Report: Huntsman Building Was Shaped to Reinforce Penn’s Phallocentrism
October 8, 2021 at 3:52 pm
The debate is fierce ... the question is, what would you do?
Local White Kid Confused After Not Being Given ‘Priority Access’ to Club Applications
October 7, 2021 at 2:06 pm
If you can support in any way, he'll take donations by check.
Climate Week: Residential Halls Replace Toilet Paper With Sandpaper to See if Anyone Notices
September 30, 2021 at 12:27 pm
Yes, it's good for the environment. Who needs beaches anyway?