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Tana Cuturela


Articles

SHS to Be Replaced With Battalion of Busty Swedish Women Offering Deep-Tissue Massages

It’s time to face the truth. There’s simply nothing as blissful as a Swedish woman dislocating your spine and rearranging your organs.


Huntsman To Be Dissolved To Dust, Gigantic and Obscene Monument For Wharton Alliance To Be Erected in Its Place

Ten limp twink bodies found in Huntsman Hall GSR, all identified as Wharton Alliance freshmen pregaming Queer Formal.


BREAKING: Women of Penn Wet for the First Time in Years

Here we all are. Together, on Penn‘s campus, in Philly, and, most importantly, wet.


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