F*CK IT FEBRUARY

Well, the first full week of February is nearing to an end, and all we can say is: February, we DFWU. Seriously, you're cold, you're heartless, AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN A COMPLETE MONTH. Alas, follow along as the number of fucks we give in February steadily decreases. 

• Your closest shot at a Valentine is that Allied Barton security guard you chat with every night on your way back to the Quad from Huntsman. Fuck it. 
• You went to great lengths to bring alcohol into the Rave to see the infamous 50 Shades. Fuck it.
• Ended up at the bar at the Rave instead. Fuck it. 
• Realized you ran out of meal swipes and paid for Hill Brunch in cash. Fuck it. 
• Used actual money for a coffee at the Starbucks on 34th, because not having to walk from VP to the Starbucks under Commons in the cold was worth $4.00. Fuck it.
• Found a hair in your Chipotle bowl. Pretended it wasn’t there. Fuck it.
  
• Felt so rejected that to feel wanted, you took every single flyer shoved in your face on Locust. Fuck it.
  
• Problem set is due tomorrow but instead you watch Clueless. Twice. Fuck it.
  
• Don’t bother covering up your cough because everyone is sick anyways. Fuck it.
• The line at FroGro was too long so you abandoned your shopping cart in an aisle. Fuck it.
  
• You had to go to the bathroom but there were still 15 minutes of class so you just left. Fuck it.
  
• It’s too early to start drinking. Fuck it.
  
• The Brita is growing algae but you're thirsty. Fuck it.
  
• It's so fucking dark. Fuck it.
• Your room is 90 degrees but you're too lazy to turn down the heat. Fuck it.
• These leggings are probably see-through. Fuck it.
  
• “Whatever, Allegro is close.” Fuck it.
  
• Install updates? Remind me tomorrow. Fuck it.
  
• That Beijing has been in your fridge for a week, but you're hungry. Fuck it.
  
• Fill out an application on your website? Enjoy my resume drop. Fuck it.
  
• Went to lecture, turned in your homework, and left before lecture actually started. Fuck it.
• You get too cold when you get out of the shower, so you just don't shower. Fuck it.
• Ran out of toilet paper. Squat-walked through VP. Fuck it.
• Haven't gone to recitation yet. Fuck it.
• Waited 2 hours in Huntsman for a GBM with free food instead of going home to make dinner. Fuck it. 
• You ran out of the good pens, so you're no longer taking notes in class. Fuck it. 
• You decide to read only the first and last words of every paragraph of your readings. Fuck it. 
• All your friends tell you you're the left shark. Fuck it.
• You already skipped the last lecture and didn't go over the slides, so there's no use in going the rest of the week because you'll be lost anyway. Fuck it. 
• The Wharton behavioral lab people definitely recognize you and know you participate in like 50 experiments a week. Fuck it. 
• It's 9 p.m. on a Monday and no one is going to be around to judge you for ordering a chocolate hand pie from Wishbone. Fuck it. 
• You took the elevator in Williams to your class on the 2nd floor. Fuck it. 
• The cashier at Mark's Café told you not to study too hard because you look stressed. Fuck it. 
• You sleep in your clothes the night before your 9 a.m. to maximize sleep time. Fuck it. 
• You still don't know what a justificatory proposition is. Fuck it. 
• You walked down Locust with your skirt tucked into your tights. Fuck it. 
• There's a dead mouse in your kitchen, so you've decided to just never cook again. Fuck it. 
• Ran out of laundry detergent. Used shampoo instead. Fuck it. 
• Forget to do advance registration on Penn InTouch for next semester's classes. Fuck it.
• You're a senior, so there is no next semester. Fuck it.