Wharton Student Brings Basketball and Fresh Pair of Nikes to MBA Program
The postgrad Wharton student was left embarrassed and humiliated after realizing a critical misunderstanding of what the letters MBA stand for.
Jett Bolker
Wharton Student Brings Basketball and Fresh Pair of Nikes to MBA Program
The postgrad Wharton student was left embarrassed and humiliated after realizing a critical misunderstanding of what the letters MBA stand for.
Gone Too Soon: I Died of Thirst When McClelland Switched to Dasani
Jett Bolker
Monday, March 24, 2025Mon, Mar 24, 2025
Student Sitting on Toilet Endures Standoff With Cockroach
The student was shocked but remained calm, knowing the roach was dangerous and not to be provoked.
If Hazing Is Morally Wrong, How Do We Weed Out the Little Bitches?
After a surprising number of rush chairs and presidents took PHIL 1000, they realized that hazing is — at best — morally questionable and perhaps wrong.
Op-Ed: Please Stay Out of My Line of Sight When Waiting for the Hip Thrust Machine
The bad part about someone watching you do hip thrusts is that you’re doing hip thrusts while someone is watching you.
I Lived It: Eating at a Different Halal Cart Is Basically Adultery
I don't know how I can go on right now.
Reducing Foot Traffic One Step at a Time: I’m Suplexing Everyone Who Stops Walking in Front of Me on Locust
Finally I can put several years of elementary school martial arts classes to good use.
The Daily Pennsylvanian Replaces All Staff Writers With Infinite Monkeys on Infinite Typewriters
What happens when they do inevitably write the complete works of Shakespeare?
‘I Haven’t Played the New York Times Games Today’ and Other Things To Think About While Your Girlfriend Breaks up With You
Oh, woe is me! Boohoo! It’s not that deep, bro. You were only with her for 5 years. Get over it.
Beware: The Tickle Monster Is Coming to Crows
They will tell their bouncer to kindly inform all attendees that a “special guest” may be showing up.
Unsurprising: Wharton Student Found at Urinal With Pants and Underwear at His Ankles
This is not the first time this has happened to me, and I’m not longer shocked and appalled by it.
Student Learns That the Slow Descent of Becoming Just Like Their Unstable, Alcoholic Parents Is Actually Awesome
Clark doesn’t describe himself as an alcoholic, however; rather, he is a connoisseur of the Lites.
‘An Inch Away From More Than Just Friends,’ Your Boyfriend and His Best Friend Know Every Lyric to This Chappell Roan Song
You found him the next week alone in his dorm with his eyes watering, staring at a picture of his best friend Richard Mater (C ’27), asking himself if it was casual now.
