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Random Dude At A Party, Vol. 18

We found this week's RDAP at a social function at the University of Pennsylvania. 

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Ten years? Ten months! In ten months I'll be riding the wave of love, swarmed by a pile of freshly-groomed puppies with a diamond rock from Zales on my finger.

Fuck Marry Kill: Ann Coulter, Rob Ford, Ben Carson

Marry Ben Carson because he's quiet and a doormat so I could just do whatever I wanted. Fuck Rob Ford for all the free drugs. And kill Ann Coulter not because she's a horrible person but because she looks like a shaggy dog.

Complete this sentence: If you're a bird, I'm a ______

Supernatural phoenix from the fifth dimension with all encompassing powers because I'm better than you, bitch

If you were a natural mineral, which one would you be?

Whatever the scientific name for dirt is. Because let's be real. I'm pretty trashy.

Give us your artist statement.

My vision is to find truth in all the pettiness, expose all these haters and tag this whole city with the name of the battle I just won.

The meaning of life is...

To keep calm and hopefully never have to give a drunk interview again.

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