UTB Starts Food Delivery Service!
November 30, 2016 at 3:15 pm
So, you've come back from eating a bunch of quality food over Thanksgiving break and see your own pantry looking pretty empty in comparison. You could always go grocery shopping, but let's be honest, no one actually likes FroGro. Good thing we at UTB are really expanding our services: we're now providing unlimited food delivery to qualifying members!
What you can get:
- Butternut squash
- Fun-sized packs of yogurt-covered Raisins
- Hot Mustard
- Canned water chestnuts, popular in a variety of Asian cuisines
- Hamburger helper
- Cottage Cheese
- Wine (we're not monsters)
All you have to do:
- Pay an entry fee of $39.99
- Pay a monthly fee of $179.99
- Sell a percentage of your food to others: you earn that money right back
- Recruit two other potential members into UTB's Food Delivery Service
- It's that easy!
And one small disclaimer: no matter what anyone else tells you, this is definitely not a pyramid scheme. We could explain why, but wouldn't all those details be super boring? You just need to know that with us, everyone saves money and gets to eat canned water chestnuts at the end of the day.