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Results Are In! Girls Aren't Intimidated by You — You're Just an Asshole

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OPINION | Sammy Gordon Saturday, Dec. 8, 2018Sat, Dec 8, 2018

Hey there, sweetie. I know it can be hard to read the women who constantly reject you, and I know you think your confidence and good looks are intimidating, but I’m here to tell you that women aren’t intimidated by you — you’re just an asshole.  

I understand that your idea of attracting women is walking down Locust as slowly as possible, drinking out single-use Poland Spring bottles, and, reluctantly, Starbucks cups (because it’s gay), but, in reality, nothing puts women off more than a douchebag — which is what you are.  

Yes, you are in a top frat, which is incredible, but face the facts: you go to Penn — you were a nerd in high school.