Ja Rule Hired by SPEC to Deliver Bahamian Fling

After student objections to its chosen lineup for Spring Fling in 2018, Penn’s Social Planning and Events Committee (SPEC) has opted to think a little bigger this year, recruiting rapper and entrepreneur Ja Rule to put on an “experience of a lifetime” in the Bahamas. SPEC was reportedly sold on the idea after a two-minute, “life-changing” pitch.

“He covered all the important details — it was clear he had thought the whole thing through,” a SPEC representative said. When asked about which details specifically Ja Rule presented, the representative clarified that by “details,” they meant the word “Bahamas,” and by “whole thing,” they meant the word “experience.”

“We trust him to deliver. Ja Rule is a name in the business,” the representative stated.

No further details about the event were made available, but Ja Rule opened his pitch by walking ten Instagram models onto the stage who he promised would be heavily involved with the event. Students also reported hearing Kweder say, “see you at Fling!” at the end of his set at Smokes last Tuesday.

"Honestly, we'll do anything to shift blame for a bad Fling away from us," the SPEC representative confessed. When asked for comment, Ja Rule simply stated that Fling 2019 will be "Fyre."