Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Dear 69th Street: I Can’t Cum Unless I’m Listening to This American Life with Ira Glass


Photo by Peabody Awards / CC BY 2.0

Dear 69th Street,

It's been eight years since I first tuned into WBEZ Chicago's This American Life with Ira Glass, and ever since, the father of podcasting has been transforming my life. Since entering my first relationship this winter, though, I'm starting to worry about my predilection for Glass' dulcet tones. 

When my boyfriend and I first got together, we listened to This American Life together all the time. He thought my preference for liberal, narrative public radio made me seem sexy, pensive, and intellectual, and he certainly didn't seem to mind that the by the time Ira said "Act One" in any episode, I was so overcome by lust that I was already ripping off my own clothes. However, things changed when we realized that I just can't get hot without America's most popular hour of ecstasy pumping in the background. 

I never realized this was a problem before. I guess since This American Life is playing in my room 24/7, I'd never attempted to orgasm without it. I had no idea I was classically conditioning myself to associate sex with Ira, but now I absolutely cannot cum without his voluptuous voice tapping on my eardrums. I've tried everything from sex toys to heavy kink to switching to Fresh Air with Terry Gross, but I'm completely at a loss. My boyfriend's frustrated, and episode 95, "Monogamy" from March 6th, 1998 has been no help at all even after six listens. I tell him that my orgasms are supported by him, his member, and by This American Life, but he's ready to call it quits if I can't move past this. Please help!