Wilcaf Baristas Misunderstand 'Cuffing Season,' Cuff Jeans Instead

As cuffing season approaches, more and more desperate Penn students find themselves settling for relationships with mediocre hookups. Wilcaf employees, however, appear to have a different interpretation of cuffing season, choosing instead to roll up their jeans and already cropped pants to outrageous levels. 

Wilcaf manager Jonathan Trillis (C ‘19) went so far as to cuff his jeans all the way to his knees. “I think it goes really well with my dad hat,” he explained during his shift. “Part of the Wilcaf culture is to really make the most out of cuffing season, so we hold an annual pants-cuffing contest during December. By the way, this song playing in the background is off the new Brockhampton album. Have you ever heard of them? They’re pretty underground.” 

Members of the Wilcaf staff have the highest rate of cuffed jeans out of any group on campus, with WQHS radio hosts at a close second. 

Though completely misunderstanding the meaning of “cuffing season,” the Wilcaf employees by no means have the weirdest interpretation, because nothing can top the freshman who decided to turn cuffing season kinky.