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OP-ED: I Hope the World Ends Before I Graduate so I Don’t Disappoint My Mother by Not Going to Law School


Photo by GregCont / CC0

Freshman year of college teaches kids a lot about life: how little sleep they can live off before crashing, how to bullshit one’s way out of everything and anything, and, without fail, the magic of Wawa. But mostly one learns a fact of life that is both daunting and enlightening: the future is uncertain. 

There is one thing, however, I know with some certainty: I probably won’t end up going to law school. Now, it’s not that I’m not interested in the law. I mean, sure, being a lawyer would be cool. I guess. But, bro, let’s be real. That is hella work. Applications, recs, LSATs, etc. I can’t even get my UTB articles in on time. 

That’s why I need the world to end before 2022. It sucks, as I truly love life, but sorry, guys. An apocalypse is nothing compared to a lifetime of my mother’s disappointment. If I’m going down, then we all are too.