See Ya, Sean! Jenny Is Practicing Zero-Waste, and You Didn’t Make the Cut

Jenny (C '21) wants to become more environmentally conscious and, after watching a few Buzzfeed videos and completing a few bullet journal pages, decided to lead a zero-waste lifestyle to the best of her abilities. 

Along with using lots of Tupperware, creating a composting corner in her bedroom, and carrying around a handkerchief riddled with bodily fluids, Jenny is extending this mindset to other aspects of her life.

Guess what that means, Sean! See ya – you didn’t make the cut! Jenny describes him as “unnecessary,” “garbage,” and “no, literally what you put in a trash can, which is exactly what I’m trying to remove from my life.” 

While Sean is getting the boot, Jenny is refocusing her sexual endeavors on Dylan and Jamal, two men from her past.

“Living by zero-waste means that I reuse as many things as I can for all types of different purposes to avoid buying more. I guess that means I’m texting Dylan and Jamal tonight! I never expected to even interact with my freshman hookups again, but I’m just doing my part to make a positive impact.”

Proud of you, Jenny! And Sean, find another girl until Jenny’s loses interest in zero-waste in a couple weeks at most.