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Something Spooky Is Going On In The New College House West Pit

Photo By The Daily Pennsylvanian/ Edits by Emmet Foley

Look I’m not one for conspiracy theories, but ever since they dug this pit for the New College House, things have just seemed off. I’m not sure what it is, but there’s definitely some spooky shit happening down there. 

I can’t comment on any specifics right now, but I just know there’s some weird stuff beyond the precipice of that big ole hole, and the mystery is killing me. What is the school hiding from us? Maybe there’s a community of gremlins down there. Maybe it’s some cool old bones. I think the most likely option is probably that it's Steve Buscemi's hidey-hole, but it could also be a bunch of ghouls in which case good, keep them in the pit. But also, if it's Steve Buscemi, keep him in the pit. No thank you. 

This is a developing story that deserves to be covered, and I’m sure it’s gonna be pretty zany once I figure out just what’s going on here. Updates will be given as ghouls or Steve Buscemi's are uncovered.