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Sick! Guy in Front of You Has Night Mode for Excel Turned On


Photo by Carlos Ebert / CC BY 2.0

Oh wow, would you look at that. Looks like Big Max has night mode for Microsoft Excel turned on. Seems like Ole Maxy forgot to come back to the land of the living after pulling an all-nighter working on his valuation of Toys R Us

I know you might be concerned about Maxwell's eyes after starting at a harsh white screen for 12 hours. Don’t worry: 5 out of 10 optometrists recommend turning on a little-known feature known as “night-mode," so all you prospective big-banker guys out there are safe.

Maxwellington is actually barred from all financial boot camps offered at Wharton. His prowess of Excel started to intimidate the recruiters and was politely (but forcefully) asked to leave. Rumors have it that Max has started to disguise himself in order to bypass security.

Don’t worry Maximilian, you and I are much the same. You’re in a GSR that has the lights turned off due to the lack of movement, and I scroll through Twitter at night lying in bed until I accidentally drop my phone and it hits me on my head. I feel you and stand with you in solidarity.