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OP-ED:Now That Fling Is Over, There Is Nothing Left to Distract Me from the Pain of My Existence and the Fact That I’m an Irrelevant Cluster of Cells Hurtling Towards Oblivion. Also, I Have a Midterm on Tuesday.


Photo from Max Pixel / CC 0

I knew this before, but after drinking until my internal organs were screaming loudly, seeing frat boys wear shorts with hems disturbingly close to their genitalia, and watching my friends pee on the side of Walnut street, I knew that without Fling to look forward to and enjoy, my life would be quite meaningless. 

The truth is, I am a minuscule organism on a ball of elements hurtling towards a sun in a galaxy far away from any other cluster of stars. Far away from other life forms in the vast, unknowable universe. I am small; I am irrelevant; and my life will not matter. My ideas do not matter. I do not matter. But with Fling on the horizon, I deluded myself into thinking I could be optimistic, could enjoy the moment, could forget that I am hurtling towards total extinction of the human race. That delusion is gone, and with my midterm on Tuesday, I know that there is absolutely nothing holding my life together. 

There is nothing left to hold on for except, perhaps, graduation. Then, I will be reminded that my entire degree and struggle to succeed in this violently competitive university was, too, for nothing. At least I can drink my bodyweight in vodka after I throw my meaningless diploma into the void.