Yo, Can You Venmo Me 60 Cents for the Condom I Used Last Night?

Hey — last night was fun.

I hate to be that guy, but, since you were the one who wanted to use the condom, Imma need you to Venmo me the 60 cents for it. Like, we could have just relied on those birth control pills I'm pretty sure you're on, but I totally respect that you have your preferences.

Just like, you know, hit me with that payment, or I can request you. Let me know.

Also, I promise I didn't just snag it from the LGBT Center — I don't go in there. I bought it off of Amazon. Condoms don't come cheap, ya feel?

Anyway, I'll text you sometime.

Edit: My Venmo handle is @jared.