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Beep Boop: Comp Sci Major to Enter Sleep Mode Over Summer Break


Photo by Shanghai killer whale / CC BY-SA 3.0

Ah, summer: a happy time where students go home to their families, blissfully prance off to their internships, or study for unrelenting summer courses late into the night. At least, that’s what usually happens.

Computer science major Mark Esters (E '22) has other plans in mind.

Thanks to multiple caffeine-fueled late-night coding extravaganzas over the past year, Esters had racked up a whopping 800 hours total of sleep debt. Now that summer had arrived, it was finally time to balance the account.

“// local variable sleepDebt is not at an optimal level,” Esters commented, eyes glazed over. "This error must be rectified."

Esters has already made the necessary preparations for his grand entrance into sleep mode.

“I have already switched all of my cores to low power mode, and my internal fan will be running so as to prevent my chassis from overheating,” Esters said, methodically. “At long last, it is time to execute function sleepExcessiveAmounts().”

We can expect to hear back from Esters in about a month’s time, when he finally reawakens refreshed and ready to take on the world. But for now, it looks like this is goodbye.

“Systems… powering… down…” Esters whispered before collapsing unceremoniously onto his desk.