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Psych 101! Braden Didn't Actually Cheat On Tiffany, He Just Never Developed Object Permanence


Photo by Harald Groven / CC BY-SA 2.0

So Tiffany's babe, her honey, her baby boi Braden went out and cheated last week. Again. At this point, you might wonder what goes through his head when he does these things. As hard as it might be to believe, the answer is nothing. Nothing goes through Braden’s head. In fact, he forgot all about Tiffany's existence the moment she walked out of the room. 

Penn psychologist and formal disapprover of Braden as a boyfriend, Joyce Johnson, states “Every human being goes through four stages of cognitive development: sensorimotor, pre-operational, concrete operational, and formal operational. Most people learn object permanence in the sensorimotor stage, or before two years of age. Braden is almost 20, but he suffers from a rare genetic condition that evidently does not allow him to stop playing around and grow the fuck up.”

"So basically," explained Braden, "I'm baby."