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Karen Experiences First Orgasm After Descending Harrison Elevator Without Stopping


Photo by Josh James / CC BY 2.0

Karen Joseph (C '21) lives on the 24th floor of Harrison College House. On any other Monday morning, she would have reached menopause before getting to the Harrison lobby, but, for reasons somehow still undisclosed by the University, no one else was on their way to class.

So, Karen stepped onto the elevator and pressed the lobby button. The doors closed and she began to fall, obnoxious beeping noise caressing her with every floor...you get the idea. Check out my WattPad.

“I just assumed she was another drunk girl moaning in the elevator for no reason,” said fellow Harrison resident Micheal Rossie (C '21). “Except it was a Monday morning at 9 A.M.... but, whatever, I’ve grown numb to this shit.”

“Praise the Lord for elevators, with their BO smell and their diiirty floors...” said Harrisonian Ashley Roberts (E '20), certainly straying from the Lord’s path. “God knows my girlfriend does nothing for me…wait, am I cheating? Hey Siri, does getting off to an elevator count as cheating?”

“Personally, I think the Rodin elevators are smoother,” said Jackson Thomas (C'22). “I used to live in Gregory, and damn the dumb waiter there is a fine wine…but these days I prefer a modern woman. I just like the elevators that I can’t get stuck in. Not again. It was a manipulative relationship…I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”