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Bitch: This Anti-Vaxxer Takes Shots From Brad at AEPi But Not From Dr. Goldberg


Photo (with edits) by torange.biz / CC BY 4.0; mskathrynne / CC0; mohamed_hassan / CC0; pxfuel / CC0

Hypocritical much? This bitch Jessica refuses to get vaccinated at Dr. Goldberg’s office, but she was perfectly comfortable consecutively downing the shots Brad gave her at the mixer last night. There’s no logical reason for this discrepancy. I mean, she was taking straight shots of cheap vodka — that’s basically as painful as getting a shot at the doctor. And being protected, to any extent at all, from a debilitating and life-threatening illness is, like, even better than being drunk. So like, what gives?

Plus, Brad from the party last night is basically the same as Dr. Goldberg. Brad’s parents will probably pay to get him into medical school and then he’ll become a doctor. And I’m pretty sure his last name is literally Silverberg. If Jessica will take shots from silver she should certainly take them from gold.

I mean, even if Jessica just like doesn’t care about her health at all, it’s pretty selfish to not get vaccinated because it impacts other people. It’s like, what if everyone agreed to bring some nice flavored vodka to a party but then Jessica secretly brought some cheap shit that tastes terrible, and then all the vodkas get put behind the bar together and in the shuffle other people end up drinking Jessica’s terrible vodka. Well shit, guess not everything’s about you, Jessica! Now other people have to drink your terrible alcohol because you didn’t want to contribute to the group. Looks like you’re kind of a dick, huh?

And uh oh, now sweet Samantha who’s allergic to something in your cheap brand of vodka accidentally gets poured a shot of it and has a reaction. Hang on, is it possible that someone else was impacted by your dumb choice in a way that you didn’t anticipate? Does it seem like, maybe, the fact that you couldn’t get off your ass and buy the agreed upon alcohol for the party has harmed someone who has an underlying condition that made her more vulnerable to shitty alcohol? Well FUCK, maybe you should have anticipated this! Maybe if you’d thought about someone other than yourself for one fucking second then you wouldn’t have been such a senseless dick.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just annoyed at Jessica because she stole my hair tie. But either way, I stand by my assertion that she’s a real bitch.