A Message From President Gutmann: Yoooo Smoke's Tonight?
February 12, 2020 at 12:00 am
A Message From President Gutmann
University Notification: Request for a Lit Friday Night
Amy Gutmann, President
Yooooooo how's everyone at Penn doing today? Okay, here's the deal. Smoke's tonight at like 11 P.M.? Drinks on Penn's endowment (specifically the section allocated to renovate DRL)!
I know what you're thinking - "oh, I have work to do... I have a 9 P.M. tomorrow ... I'm not feeling it tonight...", well listen up you antisocial nerd - my job at this university is first and foremost to ensure that the mantra of "Work Hard, Play Hard" is adopted by every single student, and I'm not going to let you be the exception. I fully expect you to wake up hungover and distraught tomorrow morning and finish up that CIS 160 assignment - anything otherwise just wouldn't be in the true Penn spirit.
Much like I have no intention of divesting from fossil fuels, I don't plan on divesting from my plans tonight either. So just to reiterate - Smoke's. 11 P.M. Drinks on Penn. Be there.
This information is sent to all members of the University of Pennsylvania community (except for the losers and dweebs). The message has been approved for distribution by the University Communications Office and is of importance to the University of Pennsylvania community.