Not Exaggeration! Jessica Reporting All Her Friends Hate Her and She Can’t Explain Why but It’s so Obvious

Reports are in that all of Jessica’s friends hate her and it’s so sad and obvious. Jessica self-reported the news to Under the Button last night noting that she “couldn’t explain why,” but that our reporters “wouldn’t get it anyway.”

Jessica expanded, noting that all of her friends are acting off, and they’re doing it so subtly so that they don’t have to address it, but it’s so clear. 

“I thought they were my friends but then yesterday I was walking down Locust and Macy and Stef were standing there talking, and I walked by and they waved and smiled, but didn’t even run up to me and express their unfaltering love. I was like, wow, after a year and a half of friendship, this is what it’s come to,” said Jessica.

Jessica reported the troubles in her friendships started after she took a nap and forgot that all of her friends had planned to get dinner. She missed the dinner and immediately knew it would be a downhill spiral from there. 

“I texted them and was like, ‘I’m so sorry!!!’ and they were like, ‘omg you are so fine I love you and nothing is wrong,’” said Jessica. “That’s when I knew they were fuming.”

Under the Button is still working to understand the nature of this incident and gain any clarity at all into this developing story.