Close Call! Good Thing My Girlfriend Goes to Law School in New Jersey

In the past few weeks, Penn has developed a "Campus Compact" for students returning to campus in the fall. Now, I didn't actually "read" the compact per say, but I did read a screenshot of a summary of the compact that my friend sent me. So...

In that screenshot of a summary, I noticed that I "will NOT road trip to see [my] girlfriend in law school in New York." Being the political science major that I am, I am excellent at picking up on the details of complex, academic texts like this. In this particular text, I noticed that the so-called "girlfriend in law school" lives in the so-called "New York." Lucky for me, my girlfriend goes to law school in New Jersey, NOT New York. (She goes to a different school, you wouldn't know her.) I am so thrilled that I will be able to visit her every weekend during the school year.

In these unprecedented times, it can be difficult to understand what guidelines to follow. Do I wear a mask? Do I not wear a mask? Can I still lick public benches? Should I stop licking public benches? I am just thankful that Penn was able to make such clear guidelines for students. Further, I am honored to be the interpreter for others who may find themselves confused.