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Fly’s Search for Literal Shit Head Ends


Photo by Stevepb / CC 2.0

It was a quiet evening for Mr. Fly. He was buzzing around, looking for nothing in particular. Just another Wednesday night. 

Then, all of sudden, the air grew repugnant. Revolting. Like rotting meat. But better! 

In an exclusive UTB interview, Mr. Fly commented on the intense odor: "I only heard stories about it. It's passed down from generation to generation. The great myth of the literal shit head. I wouldn't have believed it myself if it weren't broadcast on live television!" 

Zooming towards what he could only suspect as the mother of all shits, Mr. Fly was preparing himself for the greatest thing he would ever experience. 

Admittedly, he was surprised by the color. Never had he seen a silver shit before, but he guessed that the holy grail would have to be something other than the normal delicious brown. 

But it mattered not! Once he landed, it was pure ecstasy. 

"I immediately began burrowing my way through. I wanted as much of that grandiose shit on me as possible!" 

Unfortunately, Mr. Fly had to cut his shitty visit short. 

"I really wish I could have just moved my entire family to that shit head. But the thing is, there was so much damn hairspray that my legs kept getting caught. Sometimes, you just got to know when to call it quits." 

While he was happy with his discovery, Mr. Fly worries about the future of the shit head if it should remain in the limelight. 

"In my opinion, the shit head should be locked up, out of harm's way. Preserved in the cold darkness where nobody can see it or touch it. "