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Breaking: Second Lockdown! Not Like You Losers Had Friends Anyway


Photo (with edits by Scott Newman) by https://www.vperemen.com // CC BY 2.0

Our little pandemic detente seems to be slowly crumbling and many have been left wondering: what will the future look like? In a world accustomed to the global economy’s routine functioning, the uncertainty generated by successive ways of lockdown bears unequal costs. Students are left wondering about the value of their degree, casting a melancholic glance over their vanishing youth. Few words can comfort, but take solace in the fact that you were kind of a loser anyway. 

Let’s face it, you’re just not a likable figure. That’s fine. Maybe you weren’t the one chatting up a storm at parties, resigned instead to a few casual phone glances to alleviate the ambient feelings of judgement. Not everyone can be cool, fun, popular, charismatic, and so on. Some of us are blessed with those qualities, while others are destined to feel perpetual marginalization. 

Take this time, find a hobby. Make sure it signifies cultural elevation. Your newly found intellectual pursuit will help you radiate confidence in the post-COVID social landscape. And who knows, maybe you’ll be the one strolling from one super spreader event to another the next time the plague strikes.