Although scientists are unclear about the exact causal relationship that exists between the two, the data does seem to suggest that there is a clear connection between the consumption of soy milk and the adoption of “homosexual tendencies.”
There’s nothing quite like being hit with the smell of a freshly lit cigarette as you exit the library fresh from an all-nighter, probably being smoked by someone speaking a language you don’t understand.
Packaged as part of a broader initiative aimed at deepening ties between the Pentagon and Google, campus recruiters are seeking to appeal to Penn students’ sense of patriotic duty, unaware they have none.
But, in the broad scheme of things, Penn has had some seriously questionable alumni. Case in point, the 46th President of the United States of America: Donald Trump.
The day I stumble upon $1000 in my Venmo balance is the day I decide to wholly commit myself to making Andrew Yang the President of these United States.
In a school often singularly focused on chasing prestigious internships and post-graduate job offers, a club providing an avenue for students to let loose with some harmless fun is definitely a breath of fresh air.
Sure, it might be unpleasant for the women of this university to feel unsafe in the spaces that undeniably dominate this campus’ social scene, but at least there are some pretty lights outside. Yea, it would be nice for Bennett to understand the concept of personal space and boundaries, but he was probably too busy setting up the lights to realize how his actions make women uncomfortable.
It’s all but certain Teddy will ascend to the status of one of the greatest comedians alive, among other giants like Louis C. — shit, never mind. There’s one issue, though — he’s also kind of a dick.
Listen, buddy, whatever you’re blabbering on about right now, I don’t want to hear about it. You could literally be telling me that the final for my Art History class has been canceled and I couldn't care less! You know why? Cuz you, and that mouth of yours, have been getting on my nerves lately.
Citing probable low student demand for food other than overpriced salads and generic Asian food bowls, PSA anticipates that this business venture will ultimately fail in about a year’s time.
He hasn’t even graduated yet and he’s wearing an *alumni* scarf. Even professional comedians can’t come up with this kind of stuff.
No longer will these “super-broke-but-can-still-afford-dresses-from-Reformation” creative types have to dole out almost 13 dollars at Avril 50 to maintain that sweet nic fix.
Mendez proceeded to spend the rest of the recitation lightly resting his chin on the hand, leaving the X in view of quite literally everyone in the class.
Jenny Buchmann is just trying to “fuck shit up” with her “girl gang."
Hopefully, it’s not too late to withdraw from the class.
Increasingly fed up with the entitled student body at the University of Pennsylvania, the coffee shop workers by day and political radicals by night native to the West Philly area have taken to retaliatory action
An entire section of this student-run newspaper was dedicated to sports!
Lindsay reportedly blasted by bewildered onlookers, covering 60 meters in just around five seconds. Not only was she able to successfully grab the door before it closed, but also she also happened to break the outstanding world record for the 60-meter dash: 6.34 seconds.
Despite coming from a privileged background which allowed him to attend an Ivy League university, it seems that all Brown can offer in conversation is a mind-numbingly long list of complaints about his freshman year at Penn.
After several confusing months and just a few stolen Starbucks cold brews, Penn has issued a statement saying the new, entirely self-checkout Marks Cafe has been a mass psychological trial on its student body. The purpose of which, Penn claimed, was to investigate its effect “on our already self-important, entitled student body.”