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Modern Day Gatsby? Open Tabs in Zoom Screenshare Clearly Curated for Single Student

Photo by Julian Gottfried

The group was buckling down to tackle the motherfucking group homework of the week! During the Introduction to Microeconomics Friday recitation, Stephanie Lopez (C’23), Dennis Ward (C’24), and Josiah Gordon (C’24), joined their breakout room, ready to get down to the problem set. 

“Maybe we should start a Google Doc?” Lopez asked.

“Sure!” volunteered Gordon, “I’ll share my screen.”

Voila! Gordon’s screen was broadcasted for all to see. 

The newly created Google Doc was visible, as were the open tabs on the Chrome browser. Lopez perused the tabs: Kate Bush…Borges…existentialism… 

“I mean those are my interests…” mused Lopez, “Is Josiah also into Lacan?” 

Lopez blushed.

Josiah Gordon declined our request for comment. He was last seen walking circles forlornly around the Bio Pond.

A source close to Lopez told our reporter that she "was totally fawning over this Josiah guy" but unfortunately was "already cuffed to Todd Buchanan (W'22) who was old-money, jacked, and basically a hulking physical specimen."