Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Dinner Once Again Hinges on 5 Oz. Bottle of Tabasco


Photo by Ricardo Bernardo / CC BY-ND 2.0

Sick! Joey Fortson’s (C ‘22) dinner once again depends on a measly 5 oz. bottle of Tabasco.

Thanks to the McIlhenny Company, Fortson’s cooking has been made tolerable for the past couple of weeks. It’s amazing what kinds of flavors a couple CCs of distilled vinegar and red peppers can mask.

When asked why he didn’t just buy food he liked, Fortson shrugged and said "lazy."

According to Fortson, Tabasco goes well on eggs, salads, frozen pizza, spaghetti, tacos, pancakes, and coffee.

You can also drink it straight from the bottle if you so desire.

Joey? You’re running kinda low on sauce, there. Hello?

Eventually, the bottle will run dry, and Fortson will have to make a begrudging trip to Acme to replenish the precious crimson condiment. It is a day he dreads.