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BREAKING: Acme to Open a Mini Acme Inside the Starbucks in Acme

Photo (with edits) by The Daily Pennsylvanian

On a historic day for Penn Students and the West Philadelphia community, Acme Markets premiered its new superstore equipped with robot salad stations, custom cakes, and most importantly, a fifth campus Starbucks. Students have long complained about the lack of fast-casual coffee establishments near campus, as two Pret-A-Mangers, four Starbucks, two Dunkins, United by Blue, and a Saxbys just didn’t cut it. 

Melissa Zu (C’ 21), who attended Acme’s 6 a.m. opening this morning, commented on the new store and the Starbucks inside: “It was so convenient to be able to grab a cold brew as I did my shopping, but you know what would have been super convenient? Being able to buy my produce while in line at Starbucks.” 

Upon hearing this suggestion, Acme executives have voted to greenlight a 10 million dollar construction project that will erect a mini Acme inside Acme’s satellite Starbucks.

The idea has already generated lots of positive feedback from the Penn community at large. In fact, Starbucks just announced their plan to build an even smaller Starbucks inside the mini Acme inside the satellite Starbucks inside the Acme. 

“At this point we are looking at a fifteen-year construction project,” said Acme CEO Jim Perkins. “We’ve prioritized the consumer experience above all else.”