Help me! I am Addicted to Picklebacks

I know Under the Button is a joke publication, but I don't know what else to do. I have nowhere else to put these thoughts and feelings.

This isn't a joke. I can't stop doing picklebacks. They're my go-to drink of choice.

To clarify, a pickleback is one shot of whiskey, followed by one shot of pickle juice as a chaser. It sounds gross. It is gross. I don't like whiskey, and I don't even like pickles. But, when the two come together... oh baby, when the two come together.

I promise you I am not joking. I ordered a gallon of dill pickle juice off of amazon because I kept buying jars of pickles, using the juice for picklebacks, and then throwing the pickles away. So despite my roommates' protests, I keep the gallon of juice in our fridge so that I can have picklebacks at any time, rain or shine.

I know this all sounds like a joke, but I am serious. Ask my roommates how many times I've asked them to do picklebacks before we go out. This is a cry for help.