In a press release today, Penn’s LGBT center, home of free printing on campus and nothing else, announced that it is now acceptable to describe things you dislike as “gay.”

As he nods along, stone-faced, his eyes look down and his face is lit from below.

Holy shit. She is so funny.

Letting my tongue hang out of my mouth is like a private affirmation that I am cute and petite like a Yorkshire terrier.

I love the idea of watching 23 soon-to-be consultants pretend to be instruments.

No, I cannot clean my dinner off the dining room table because I am having a “bad brain day.”

To make matters worse, he told them by custom bitmoji.

"Mental health issues? Sure, lots of people have mental health issues. But don’t make it my problem."

Just because people feel like they need an "equal opportunity for education" doesn’t mean we can provide it.

Neuropsych evaluation be damned.

One time, I saw a baby with an iPad. I cried and threw up for three days.

Our main thing is smoking cigarettes on benches on Locust to help us stay skinny.

As the only non-fascist in the classics department, Ben Sherman (C ‘23) is used to being discriminated against. 

What? What was that? Oh yeah, sorry. No, the service here is fine.

Be sure to wish Cam a hearty congratulations for being queer AF!

I have often been accused of manspreading, but as a person who is plagued with anxiety and is barely confident enough to go grocery shopping without a friend, I can assure you this is not my goal.

 I was totally stanning vaccines like 3 months ago.

I know UTB is a joke publication but I don’t know what else to do. I have nowhere else to put these thoughts and feelings.

Goddamn, your flag really makes me want to tread on you.