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BREAKING! Toys R Us to Rebrand to Women B Shopping.


Photo by Cathy Li

Good news! In an unprecedented turn of events, Toys R Us announced their business trajectory after filing for bankruptcy back in September 2017. Last week, Toys R Us’ parent companies Tru Kids and Vorando Realty Trust sat down with their board of trustees to announce that they would be making sweeping changes — closing down all existing Toys R Us locations and erecting new stores, and renaming the stores and the company, to Women B Shopping.

This decision was of no surprise. Women make up a large sector of the consumer market, so much so that Vorando and Tru Kids knew this smart business venture would attract all the girlbosses to the yard. Nothing is confirmed yet, but Women B Shopping stores are rumored to be equipped with all kinds of merchandise, from pretty pink polly pocket dolls to kitchen utensils, and of course, hot pink business pantsuits. Women B Shopping CEO Wuhmin Femail even teased more products on the company’s instagram. Inferring from the caption alone, prepare for lots of Goop, astrology textbooks, and dreamcatchers.

Potential customers are delighted. 

“Finally! This is where women belong. In the kitchen, of course, but also shopping in Women B Shopping stores. Finally, a place where me and my Pinterest boards feel safe and represented” a woman muses donning a Juicy Couture velour hot pink tracksuit outside an abandoned Toys R Us parking lot.

Shoppers can expect Women B Shopping stores to be lavishly decked out in red and pink. And there are perks for the first 100 shoppers too. Rumor has it that there will be a 10% discount if you pay with credit card instead of debit or cash. And a bonus special offer (sh!!!! Keep it a secret!!!) if you pay with a card going to a MAN’s billing address. Because fuck the patriarchy <3.

The first Women B Shopping store will debut in Times Square sometime this fall, in between the MAC and Sephora store locations, because women also do be wearing makeup.