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Erm, I Don't Really Care: Sister Showing Me Her Sloppy, Jury-Rigged Dinner Over Video Call


Photo (with edits) by Ian Ong / The Daily Pennsylvanian

Erm… this is kinda awkward. Last Thursday, at about 7:00 p.m., I received a call from my sister on Messenger:

“Hey,” she said. 

“Hey,” I replied. “What’s up?”

“Oh, not much,” she said.

“Okay, that’s cool. Listen — I’m a little busy at the moment, so could you maybe —”

“Yo, check this out.”

Before I could protest, my sister panned over to a sloppy plate, replete with mushy rice, gooey chicken, and scattered vegetables. My sister began to poke the dry, lifeless dumplings with her fork, bragging about how she “looked up a recipe online” and “made them herself.” As she hoisted one of the formless packets into her mouth, I listened to her remark: “oh my God, these are soooo fricking delicious.”

Ahh, okay, good for you, I guess? I’d really rather be doing something else right about now.

Unfortunately for me, there did not appear to be an easy exit. After showing me her slipshod dinner, my sister went on to detail exactly how she had procured each ingredient, how the supermarket was out of soy sauce so she had to substitute in Worcestershire, and how the oven beeps really, really loud when the timer elapses.

Um, very cool, sis. Great that you’re eating and stuff.

Look — it’s not that I’m unhappy she called. I mean, it’s always great to hear from family. I just wish she’d show me something other than the messy aftermath of her mediocre evening meal, you know? And I wish she’d at least try — once in a while — to spark conversation that isn’t about how the orange chicken recipe she half-heartedly pursued turned out “actually pretty good.” Like, I am literally unable to feel anything other than neutrality toward this.