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Two Can Play This Game: Your Therapist Also Texts During Your Session


Photo by Zoosk // cc by 2.0

You thought you were getting away with it, huh? Your telehealth therapist is droning on and on about how
you're “exhibiting toxic behaviors to your family” and “put your roommate in serious danger” while you nod and smile, secretly playing Angry Birds on your phone. Who still plays Angry Birds anyway? But as you chime in to defend yourself because your “roommate didn’t even need 2 functional kneecaps,” you notice as he nods along, stone-faced, his eyes look down and his face is lit from below.

That’s right, your therapist is texting too. He’s planning a lunch date with his girlfriend (straight vibes, lol) right after your session. In fact, he literally could not care about you or anything you do. You pay his bills and as much as he tells you that you are important, he does not care if you live or die. 

As you describe how your roommate had run over your dog with her new sedan, your therapist stifles a chuckle. His girlfriend has just texted him a “dank meme” about SuperWhoLock. To cover, he tells you he was choking back a sob. But his fingers… they were fluttering.

Good luck with fixing your mental health. If your therapist doesn’t care about you, who does?