After Two Months of College My Body Consists of Primordial Soup

After subsisting off Grommen's caprese sandwiches and six hours of sleep for the past eight weeks, my body is reduced to primordial soup. I am just a sack full of organic compounds sloshing around. Not even a mitochondria in sight. 

Yes I am taking rigorous, enriching courses taught by the experts in their respective fields. Hell, sometimes I even do the StairMaster at Pottruck. In spite of that, I am de-evolving. Three weeks ago I was a monkey. Two weeks ago I was a triceratops. Now I am just a nutrient rich ocean. Proof? Last week when I was a mudfish I forgot to go to office hours. Then I turned in my homework late and only partially finished. Yesterday I turned in an essay in Ariel 11 pt. And I forgot to paste in works cited from citatioxmachine.net. 

But great things can come out of primordial soup, right? It just needs a zap of electricity to make some basic monomers. Miller-Urey I am right here.