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Erm, Why Does Your Childhood Friend Have a Two-Year-Old and You Don’t Even Have Your Bachelors


Yikes. Your mom just sent you a text:

“Look who I ran into while walking the dog!!" It reads, with the image of your childhood friend pushing a stroller. There is a full grown two-year-old in it. You do some quick math. It somehow wasn’t a teen pregnancy. You haven't seen this girl since your high school graduation party, and now she has a child?

So what was Hannah doing in your neighborhood, didn’t she move out after beauty school? Your mom reports that Hannah was grabbing some stuff from her parent’s house. She’s moving out of her apartment to a house in Jersey with her long time boyfriend.

Jersey? Hannah is going to OWN a house with a yard? And she is a manager at Super Cuts in Cherry Hill?

“Isn’t Hannah doing great?” your mom says when you call her on the weekend. “What are you up to at school honey?” You look at your most recent assignment for your creative writing class, creating a piece of art on a banana with a push pin. You still have six courses to complete before you fulfill your major. And thinking about having to fulfill the Quantitative Data Analysis requirement makes you cry. How on earth is your childhood friend supporting a small human so well she gets your mom’s praise?

“Dear God, did I tell you, Hannah’s boyfriend is covered in tattoos?” your mom says in the silence. Phew, at least you have one thing up on her.