QUIZ: Which Summer Transformation Are You?
(05/05/16 8:39pm)
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Congratulations, new seniors! Get ready for a whirlwind of a year in which you do more work than expected punctuated by frequent YOLO moments. While us lame duck seniors desperately grasping at our last couple weeks here are happy for you, we can’t help but notice that your Hey Day seems eerily like a giant déjà vu. And no, not just because watching you cavort down Locust, Styrofoam hats turned headbands perched precariously on your drunken heads is giving us nostalgia for our similar actions of yesteryear.
Your favorite feature is back to provide a laugh in between those silent sobs in your VP carrel, and this time, we interviewed an ALUMNI. He's a recent grad who is now getting his Masters at Penn – a salt-of-the-earth guy who loves a good lunch.
It's the Thursday afternoon before Fling, which means only less than 24 hours before everyone stops wearing real clothes. The question is: are the tanks really worth it?
Penn's annual Holi event is a good time for all, provided you don’t accidentally swallow some of the paint powder that gets thrown your way. So can you blame this sneaky guy in the window of College Hall for trying to get in on the action and raise morale? Like the nerds watching from the 6th floor of VP, this “air dancer” (yes there is a term for these car dealer wavy balloon dudes) was too high up to get hit by the colorful powder cloud, but he still looks like he’s having a grand old time.
Penn senior Chris Swanson became Penn’s first NCAA men’s swimming champion when he won the 1650 freestyle event this past weekend. For those looking to replicate his feat, that's 66 laps in the Pottruck swimming pool, although we hear hanging out in the sauna is pretty nice too. This leaves lonely Cornell as the sole Ivy sans a men's swimming championship title, so *insert insecure joke here about a “lesser Ivy”* Swanson is the first student from an Ivy League to become an NCAA men’s swimming champ in over 25 years. And he did so pretty impressively, shaving 20 seconds of his previous year’s 11th place finish. So for all of you who complain about Penn boys being too short and not brawny enough for your liking, we’ve got at least one who disproves the stereotype.
In case your friends are sick of you bragging about how you go to the Social Ivy, the Penn women's basketball team just gave you something new to boast about: we're Ivy League Champs!
We know voting for your Class Board seemed super important (lol jk), but this upcoming election will blow that out of the water. Van Pelt Library, your home away from home, is getting new chairs for their study carrels, and students have been asked to conduct careful empirical research before deciding which model they should choose.
So you’re thinking of signing up for the Love Run half marathon (or full, go you!) in April or the Broad Street Run in May. But maybe… don’t? We’re here to help you decide.
The scenario: You're on 39th and Walnut. You've got 10 minutes to get to your boring three-hour seminar, and you're in dire need of a pick-me-up. (We're talking about coffee; don't get ahead of yourself...)
"I've seen a lot in my short lifespan. For a while, I was in demand. Sure I was one of about 1,300 clones, but still, the girl who snatched me up eagerly from the pile told me she had waited in line all morning for me, and hey, that makes a gender-non-conforming-self-aware-object feel pretty dang special! I was even in the Ivy League Snapchat story! (I have no idea what that means, but a lot of squealing was involved.)
It finally happened. You’ve missed advanced registration time and time again. You’ve failed to fill out various contact lists and forms for clubs on time. You’ve asked for extensions on papers and projects. But now, you’ve missed the deadline for something you can’t solve with an apologetic email to a professor. You forgot to sign up for housing next year.
Based on an influx of campus ambassador style emails, it seems Quickhelp, an app started by two Harvard grad students (sorry, PennApps), is coming to Penn. Quickhelp brands itself as the "Uber of Tutoring," allowing students to solicit teaching services from nearby tutors, often grad students in the same area, even the same university.
The Wharton Undergraduate Steering Board (a club that may or may not exist, but is certainly on a minimum of 15 resumes), is apparently gauging interest for a Wharton formal. In addition to their ability to print and scan in the mothership Huntsman, our fancy financey friends are about to get a little fancier. So instead of buttering up your neighborhood frat/srat star in the hopes of snagging a formal invite, better start working on the M&T in the adjacent study room cubicle. Or your dual degree application.
In case the influx of CIT-sender emails didn't give you a good cry, check out the work of some super talented Penn LGBT advocates, who filmed a Chinese language version of Macklemore's "Same Love." Polyglot Ariel Koren kills the game: she adapted, translated and rapped the lyrics, and still found the time to master the sick parkour move at 0:20. Shoutout to all involved in making the video, for preaching acceptance to a culture that needs it, putting a smile on our faces, and reminding us to check our significant others for lice (3:23).
It's that time of the semester: Every group you're involved in, no matter how small and obscure, is probably hosting a formal at Bistro La Baia or one of the various permanently docked ships event spaces in the Philadelphia area. If you didn't snag an invite to these lesser known parties, however, then you're clearly not in the scene.
Fling: it’s all fun and games until your Fro Gro mystery meat “Meatloaf Mix” goes rogue. Sunday evening, a high rise RA found that one of his residents had taken the environmentalist zeal too far, dumping an unopened package of raw meat in the floor’s recycling bin.
Fling is a “Pennstitution,” as the real journalists say. Here’s how to navigate campus once things start going mad.
This weekend, Stimulus Children's Theater Company and Intuitions Experimental Theater Company are collaborating to put on Cirque. We caught up with our Flyerers of the Week, who told us a bit about the play, all while teaching us about meta-languages, a less frequently advocated form of consent, and their flyering tips, hopes, and dreams.
Penn food truck staple Schmear It is known for its custom bagel creations and for supporting local non-profits. Now, they’re taking their mission of social good a step further: bringing Philly Jews a little closer to God by encouraging them to stay K4P (That’s kosher for Passover, for the goys).