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Thanksgiving break is almost here, and all we want to do right now is eat candy and watch Love Actually. But while we're feeling sentimental, we might as well tell you what (or, more accurately, who) we're thankful for this year.
Dear Daniel,
In case you're lucky enough not to know anyone in a frat and thus haven't been forwarded this news item by a million different listservs already, here's the scoop: a Penn girl's picture has landed on Playboy's web site. This is a family blog, so we won't post the saucier pictures, but here's a link to the bikini shot.
We trust that you all got this e-mail last week:
...our address really needed six announcements about your "grand opening ceremony."
Well, we've made it, kiddies: the shoutouts issue! We suggest picking up a copy before class, lest you want to feel completely left out of the fun. But, pssst, did you know the issue contains more than shoutouts, much more? Check it out:
34th Street requests your presence at the Button this afternoon. Stop by on your way to class, for the love of buttons!
Attention cookie monsters: 50% of proceeds from all Insomnia orders tonight will benefit University City Hospitality Coalition's soup kitchen. Because you will likely need a snack at some point between 8 p.m. and 2 a.m. anyway, may we suggest cookies? Check out the Facebook event here and place your order here.
Our ongoing love affair with New York Magazine continues with this week's issue, which contains a profile of actress Becki Newton, best known for playing the fierce receptionist Amanda on Ugly Betty. And Newton went to Penn, just like you!
Finally, the glorious day has come to pass: November 19, also known as our fearless leader's birthday. We wish you a great day, Dr. Gutmann! On our birthday, we don't usually drop 100 g's, but then again maybe that's why no one ever asked us to be president of Penn.
Penn got a little shoutout in the mother of all gossip columns yesterday, Page Six. Check it out:
Our campus media critic is back! We're waiting with bated breath to get our hands on a copy of The Soapbox or The Punchbowl, but in the meantime, we've managed to procure the new issue of The Wharton Journal. Won't you join us for a spirited critique?
OMG, we found a time capsule that contained Amy Gutmann's and Ron Daniels's high school yearbook photos! Just kidding, we made them on yearbookyourself.com, but we still think they're very cool.
Attention all aesthetically-minded 34th Street readers: have you checked out our exquisitely redesigned new website? In our humble opinion, it's basically the Mona Lisa of independent college magazine websites. We are so greatful to the DP web elves (they're like the house elves in Harry Potter, except they know HTML) for working so hard on it! In fact, we at UTB are starting to get a little jealous that 34st.com is so much prettier than us. It's Marcia and we're sad, plain Jan, the middle child with a "great personality." 34st.com 34st.com 34st.com!
Hurry up, registration procrastinators, because you've only got about eight hours left to request spring courses. After that, it's add-drop Russion Roulette for you! Because UTB always has your best interests at heart, we've put together a smorgasbord of classes that sound cool, interesting or otherwise worthwhile. Behold, your totally ballin' last-minute registration guide (and yes, all of these are real classes):
So you've probably heard the totally lame-o news that BMOC-- shorthand for AXO's popular annual philanthropy event, Big Man on Campus--is on the verge of being cancelled, which would make its record 2 for 4 over the years that seniors have been at Penn. Maybe you've even joined the SAVE BMOC group on Facebook, which points out that each year the event raises thousands of dollars to support victims of domestic violence. But have you stopped to consider that a lack of BMOC would leave our campus, like a fish without a bicycle, sadly BMOC-less? The chair of the UA and the president of the senior class serve as our elected leaders, but he who is BMOC is our unofficial spiritual guide. How will Street editors know who to put in Cultural Elite? Will the role instead fall to the Big Asian on Campus? And then who will fulfill the duties of the big Asian--Mr. and/or Ms. Penn? We truly fear that BMOC's cancellation could result in a social power vacuum. Hey, Ron Daniels, if you agree to stay, we'll let you be BMOC!
Spending all your time at Van Pelt will give you a pretty skewed vision of Penn life, and spending all of that library time in the same cramped little study carrel working on a senior thesis will just make you that much more cracked out. You get used to leaving all your stuff there, and since you have permission to kick people out when you need the carrel, it becomes a weird little makeshift home. It's basically real estate consolation for all the stress you've elected to endure to graduate with honors.
Today's Street features an interview with The Whigs, which you can read here. Not all of it could fit into the magazine, but luckily this blog serves as a repository for excess magazine goodness, much like the deleted scenes on your favorite DVDs. And now, the interview!
Ah, Shoutouts, it's been too long! For the uninitiated, Shoutouts are sort of a Street trademark, one of the things we are best known for around campus: they're basically a collection of anonymous, reader-submitted expressions of love/vitriol/both that we publish once a semester, and the meaner, the better. Sometimes people worry that 34th Street has lost its edge, that we're just not as gloriously bitchy as we once were. Each semester, Shoutouts reaffirm our place as the most cynical people around.
Greetings from Van Pelt, where we have hunkered down to wait out this dark rainy abyss of a Thursday. The only thing keeping us going is the new issue of Street, which conveniently has Smoke's right on the cover. Let's take a peek inside, shall we?