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(02/21/09 9:35pm)
Our visit to yesterday's Career Fair yielded no job prospects, but we did walk away with a handful of swag. After testing out all the pens, mini-footballs and chapsticks, we narrowed down our favorites, which we will now pit against each other in our patented SWAG-O-METER!
(02/21/09 12:06am)
UTB tipsters need makeup too. And we all need protection. Check out the ambiguous sign we just spied at Douglas Cosmetics.
(02/20/09 5:40am)
From whence the locution "grade grubber" comes we know not, but since you are a Penn student, you definitely are one. We read about you in the New York Times a few days ago: You are entitled. You "see the default grade as an A." Also, global warming is your fault. Your ridiculous aristocratic squabbling caused World War I. Your low standards allowed Gigli, which you wrote, produced, directed and starred in, to be greenlit. Ugh, though, getting an A- can be such a bummer, you know?
(02/19/09 4:30pm)
UTB moles inside the registrar's office (or, ok, just regular tipsters) report that Fall '09 courses have been added to Penn's course search and schedule planning tool, accessible through your PennPortal. Just like last semester, they're up before the registrar has been updated. Have at it, geeks! And seniors, this is your cue to start crying: no more Advanced Registration for you.
(02/19/09 4:15pm)
This is your UTB Editor speaking. We have reached our cruising altitude of Thursday morning and will be turning off the fasten seatbelt signs shortly. On behalf of 34th Street, our staff would like to welcome you to our new issue, and would encourage you to peruse it at your leisure. Please note that this week marks a historic occasion in Street history, as the word "street" makes an appearance not once, but twice, on our cover! (And see if you can spot all the hidden squirrels too.)
(02/18/09 5:49am)
Emerson Barth, he of campus lore, has (to, ok, no one's surprise) popped up on reality television. The most fabulous Ego of the Week in recent memory can be seen briefly in a season 2 episode of Bravo's The Real Housewives of New York City. We are having trouble embedding the video, but check it out here (Emerson appears about two minutes in), and check out our screencap below. Congrats, Emerson, we're sure this is the first of many, many Bravo appearances to come in your future. For now, though, we have a few questions: How does he know so many famous people? Who's that guy he's leaning on? And does he mind being reduced to an illustration to go along with housewife Kelly's ridiculous voiceover ("I'm exposed to so many men all the time. Businessmen, gay men...")?
(02/16/09 11:07pm)
UPDATE: A "wave of protests" from Facebook users had its desired effect: Zuckerberg and the FBook team decided not to go through with the changes in their Terms of Use. Looks like we sort of own you, Facebook. NBD.
(02/16/09 3:15pm)
Happy President's Day! We're going to celebrate by telling you how we spent that other holiday two days ago.
(02/16/09 2:05pm)
Penn had a good weekend if we're measuring in terms of NYT namedrops. After weeks of drought, Penn finally showed up in the Times's wedding section, thanks to this undergrad-M.B.A. one-two punch. Elsewhere in the Sunday paper, Penn professor Mary Frances Berry scored a nicely sized review for her new book, And Justice For All. Frances teaches in the history department, occasionally moonlights as a cable news commentator, and her fancy new book focuses on the United States Commission on Civil Rights, which she served on from 1980 to 2004.
(02/15/09 9:54pm)
Oh hey there, adoring fans. Are you sitting in the library or Huntsman right now, losing a fight-to-the-death battle with your bulk pack? Never fear! We are here to save you from boredom via the magic of instant messaging: UTB office hours are now in session! Hit us up on Gchat or AIM with our handy-dandy handle, underthebutton@gmail.com. Share some weekend gossip, ask us about the mysteries of the internet, whatever! And we promise to accept your invitation to chat, unlike *ahem* the alleged Feb Club Guru, who totally rejected our asses.
(02/14/09 6:58am)
As the DP and your inbox have probably already informed you, Penn is not yet in the clear when it comes to this week's meningitis scare. With three Penn students now being treated in the hospital, official university events and parties (including Feb Club) have been canceled for the weekend, and Student Health is holding a clinic tomorrow to provide screening and antibiotics. Not the way we'd hoped to spend Valentine's Day, but better safe than sorry.
(02/13/09 10:49pm)
Happy Valentine's Day (plus, happy 500th post to UTB)! Today the Penn Glee Club accosted Street photo editor Thomas Jansen's French class, as per tradition.
(02/12/09 4:10pm)
Spring-like weather means chilling on College Green, which we love, and ridiculous stunts, which we love even more. But not all Green shenanigans are fraternally motivated! Herewith, an ode to the tightrope guys.
(02/12/09 3:33pm)
As usual, 34th Street is here to brighten up your Thursday, and this time, it's got jazz hands! Rouge your knees, roll your stockings down and pick up the magazine to read about a local jam session's last gasps. But wait, there's more! Blues may be depressing (or at least bluesy), but on the whole, Street advocates love: loving your ladyparts, like our Ego(s) of the Week do, loving Ben & Jerry when your boyf is non-existent, loving the memory of yourself listening to emo unironically, and loving legos, because K'NEX just weren't as versatile. Be our valentine? Come to tonight's lonely hearts club/writers' meeting, 6:30 at 4015 Walnut St. Writers new and old are welcome. See you there. (Jazz hands!)
(02/12/09 5:50am)
SPEC Connaissance is bringing Madeleine Albright to campus as our spring speaker! Deets are in the DP.
(02/11/09 6:04pm)
Today, the parrot is back, and he is joined by Waldo (of Where's Waldo? fame) and some hot rod shopping cart racers. It's like some weird fratty performance art summit down there, and with spring approaching, we can only expect more of these antics. Thanks to tipster Kevin Shapiro for these photos.
(02/11/09 6:39am)
The DP reports that senior Alexander Jacobs has snagged a Gates Scholarship. ("Snag" might not be the best verb choice for something so scholarly, but um, that's why we didn't win one.) At Cambridge, Alex will pursue an MPhil in History, Philosophy & Sociology of Science, Technology & Medicine. More importantly, as the article mentions, Alex is a onetime Street staffer--he used to edit the music and features sections, and we believe he still lives with at least one current staffer. He's also really tall and some people call him A.J. and his Street articles are available here. Congratulations, Alex, you are officially the most successful former Street editor ever.
(02/10/09 4:40pm)
In this age of text messages and Twitter, there's no shortage of ways to contact that special someone this Valentine's Day. But doesn't a singing telegram say much more than a less-than sign and the number three (read: <3) ever could? Thank goodness the old-timey crooners of Penn's Glee Club are offering Singing Valentines, deliverable both over the phone and during class. Yes, for $5, you can have a bunch of kids in blazers interrupt your lecture and sing to that girl or guy you've been crushing on. And proceeds go to Habitat for Humanity. Seriously, this is awesome. Check out the Facebook event here and place your orders here. Below, a preview.
(02/09/09 3:44pm)
Street music editors Ben Rosen and Charlotte Borgen deserve a round of applause for watching the Grammys last night. (Yes, they're still called the Grammys, like gramophone. C'mon, Steve Jobs, that's definitely a missed branding opportunity: iPoddies? MP3ies? Get on it.) What follows is an account of the musical blasphemy they witnessed.
(02/09/09 2:03pm)
As you surely read about in Street last week, Feb Club is all the rage. Going out every night for a month, man, it really doesn't get much better than that! Well, for some people. There's a certain subset of senior that cares about Feb Club, really cares, like if-my-name-doesn't-make-it-onto-the-plaque-I'm-staying-for-a-fifth-year cares. (The breakdown of fabulous prizes is listed on the senior class's website: oooh, a flask, just in case Prohibition ever comes back and you need to smuggle moonshine out of Quad bathrooms.)