Below are your search results. You can also try a Basic Search.
Remember, UTB Writers' Meeting Tonight!– Meet us at 4015 Walnut (directly to the left of Metro Bakery) tonight at 6:00 p.m. to learn about how to get involved with Under the Button this semester. Check our post earlier this week for details. And remember: FREE BEER!
Armed Robbery At 40th And Spruce, But No Injuries– Still, yikes. Read more about it at the DP.
What, you think writing for a blog is FUN? You think it's a GOOD OLE TIME? You think it's all SEX and PRESS PASSES and POWER SUITS and HAIRAGAMI? Well, IT KIND OF IS. Kind of. We'll wait as you pick and choose whichever of those things you find most appealing before you continue reading.
Hey boys and goyls, we're back with a new semester of What's HapPENNing! Did you miss seeing Liza screaming into her olde-timey cheerleader megaphone every Monday? Her name is Liza, by the way. Well, guess what? We're doing things a little differently around here– yeah! Instead of only focusing on events on Penn's campus, we'll be scouring Philly for the best stuff happening in the city of Nutterly Love. Ladies, leave your men at home because What's HapPENNing put on its big-girl boots:
Seniors, Hey Day was– what? Almost five months ago? Anyway, we can't say that we had fun until the Class Board officially says we had fun, and so they made this video to tell us that YES! We did have fun! See? Look at all those drunk eyes and sheepish grins; feel the crunch of styrofoam in your mouthhole at 0:47; hear the ecstatic screams of a girl and her hamburger at 2:01. Too bad we remember 0% of it, because apparently it was the best day of our lives. Right, girl at 2:06? Preach.
Listen up, freshmen goblins and ghouls: Penn's dining halls aren't that great. Yeah! See, at first, we were all, "Wow! Commons is serving chicken tetrazzini on a chocolate waffle today, isn't that nice?" But then we tried it and were like, "Wow! It absolutely tastes like Paula Deen just farted in my mouth." Luckily, though, we live in a city where we have plenty of options when it comes to grub, and Penn's cheap and delicious food trucks are winners in our book. So bid au revoir to Bon Appétit and check out ten of our favorite trucks:
Yes, this is an actual (INSTAGRAMMED!) photo of a freshman girl's Quad dorm room that's making the rounds on campus. Here's a fact sheet: Kind of looks like a PBteen photo shoot that got run over by Kim Kardashian's Escalade Can you even wallpaper a dorm room in the Quad? Desk chair stolen from the bar at Pod Cute throw pillows! Reminds us of the bathroom scene from "The Shining" Scented by "Silent Scream" Glade Plugin BONUS! This girl's sister had Ke$ha sing at her Bat Mitzvah The end. We all lose.
Commoners and barista snobs alike were wowed this afternoon by a surprise visit from Lady Gutmann. You treat yourself, Madame President! Can you even imagine the headache of having to welcome 2,465 fresh sacks of $56,000 meat to Penn? And she pulls it off so gracefully, too! Just look at all that sweet and delicate Amish milk gelato.
Adorable pre-frosh Roderick Cook made this video thanking the Penn Class of 2016 online community for its support and strong sense of camaraderie and etc. etc. etc. as he and the rest of the newest crop of bestest and brightestest move into West Philly. They're a bunch of good friends already, ya hear? But seeing as the 2012-13 academic year is the Year of Proof, we'd like to PROVE to you, RoCo, that we're your strongest candidates for BFF-hood at Penn.
Spotted earlier this afternoon: this inflatable rat outside the HarBar construction site along with some human friends, protesting...something...because, if we've learned anything this summer, it's that our creature friends love a good protest. So keep it up, Rat and Co.!
O-Penn-ing Ceremonies– So! The Olympics start this evening across the pond in London, and who woulda thunk that two Penn alumni would be representing their countries this year? Yup, Koko Archibong (basketball, Nigeria) and Susan Francia (rowing, USA), both of the Class of 2003, will be doing their thing over the next few weeks. Let's cheer them on and hope for the best.
Free Slurpee Day At 7-11-- Founded in 1927 by Dallas-based ice vendor Joe C. Thompson, 7-11 has been serving our nation for the past 85 years, the Slurpee fast becoming part of the American Dream and WHO CARES? GO GET A FREE SLURPEE AT 38th AND CHESTNUT FROM NOW UNTIL 7 P.M.
Man Fatally Shot Near 40th and Market– Shortly after 1 a.m. Sunday morning, a policeman heard gunshots from his car and saw a man fleeing south near Market before collapsing on Preston. The man, pronounced dead at 3:15 that morning, had no identifying information and the police are still looking for his shooter. This heinous crime was just one in a violent weekend spree that included three other deaths and six shootings, as Philly.com reports.
Philly Diner, deceased since October, is now gone from campus for good, and you can tell that we're upset and/or nostalgic about it because we Instagrammed this photo. Our sources inform us that the building went down not with a bang, but a whimper, and SDTs everywhere collectively shed a single tear over the loss of their last horcrux second home. We totally called PhiDi's downfall when it started serving steak, but hey! We're still pretty shocked. "Where were you when the PhiDied?" future generations will ask.
Good news, everyone! The goddesses have finally decided to respond to our demands for a campus liquor store after the closing of the 41st and Market booze vendor. As West Philly Local reports, applications for the heavily contested space (currently an adult video store) were rejected by the Zoning Board in April, but a recent vote of 3-1 has overturned that decision. Politics!
Because Metro's are probably too big and clunky to warrant the effort. Using our Nancy Drew problem-solving skills, we figure that the thief needed accomplices, a getaway truck, a couple of balaclavas and the balls to take on the best granola in the country. But every story has two sides, so maybe this is some kind of twisted karma for Metro after trying to pass off that dragonfly salad on an unsuspecting customer. Who knows!
In closing, Comic Sans is probably not the way you want to be remembered, ABP.
And it's called POOPOOPAPER. All caps. "BELIEVE in yourself," "LOVE blooms," "be the CHANGE," they insist. It's kind of a twisted take on recycling, a turd blossom for the modern diarist. On our minds: does this paper go in the recycling bin or do you flush it?
Calling All "Prostitution Whores"– "Real Housewives of New Jersey" and "Celebrity Apprentice" humanlike Vessel of Evil Teresa Giudice will be visiting the Penn Bookstore on June 13th to sign copies of her new cookbook Fabulicious!: Fast & Fit, because why not? Mark your calendars now, friends!
Han Dynasty Has Opened– Yup, the Taiwanese eatery on 38th and Market is up and running, as the DP reports. To the surprise and disappointment of many, Han Dynasty is not a BYO and has opted for a liquor license instead to serve drinks like the "Flaming Volcano" and "Scorpion Bowl," if you're into that sort of thing.