Choose Your Own Adventure: Will You Resist Your Cousin’s Sexual Advances in Quarantine?
Photo by Kylie Cooper / The Daily Pennsylvanian
April 7, 2020 at 12:00 am
It is day 37 of quarantine and you live in constant fear of Addie. For the past week you have only left your room to grab a new box of Triscuits and to use the bathroom — you have done everything in your power to avoid your cousin. You know it’s irrational (sweet cousin Addie could hardly swat a fly, let alone kill a human being) but a dreadful feeling in the pit of your stomach has told you to be careful.
You are watching a pre-recorded lecture at 2x speed, one hand mechanically shoving Triscuits into your mouth and the other scrolling through Twitter. Your professor’s droning baritone is phenomenal ASMR. A soft knock on your door interrupts you. “Heyy,” Addie sweetly calls, “I think the Wifi’s busted, do you think you could go down to the basement and check it out?”