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Pretty Rainbow WordArt and 5 Other Ways To Gently Tell Yourself That Penn Won't Be Reopening in January


You’re all thinking it, and you’re all too afraid to say it. Whether you’re a senior who’s looking forward to the Last Hurrah, a freshman who’s looking forward to your First Hurrah, or just, like, a human being looking for some small semblance of normalcy - you’re probably excited for next semester. 

You’re likely ignoring the latest COVID spike, the new Philadelphia social distancing guidelines, your impending final exams, and your issues with older men - but don’t worry! We aren’t here to address any of those things! All you need to do is take some deep breaths, sit down in a nice comfy chair, and use these 6 methods to cope with reality:

1. Speak through a fan, so that your voice sounds all funny-like:

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2. Bake it into a cake - like a gender reveal, only without assuming gender, or causing forest fires:


3. Rainbow WordArt never disappoints:

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4. Come up with a catchy little a Cappella arrangement about it:


5. Have Santa drop it down your chimney:


6. And last, but not least, mouth it to yourself in the mirror while wearing a mask. Bonus points: if you actually wear masks, maybe Penn will reopen in Fall 2021 (But really, don’t get your hopes up.)

coronavirus covid-2019 Girl in mask fear
coronavirus covid-2019 Girl in mask fear