After UTB reviewed a Shabbatones concert back in 2016, our staff figured that a Capella truly couldn't get any worse. However, following some unprecedented times back in March, it did.

One must understand that moving right, for long enough, really just takes you back to where you started. This realization naturally leads to the conclusion that all of the globe's latitudinal and longitudinal coordinates can be included in 'right outside of Philly.'

We could meal prep for the week, attend ten 60-second lectures, or take a really good shit - if only our professors actually respected our time.

Mushrooms, the only way youu2019ll ever get laid is to crawl up a chickenu2019s ass and wait.

I...II... - two negative tests. I counted again with tally marks to make sure. |...||... - two negative tests. I had coronavirus.

This picture might look like expired milk, but what I imagine this picture smells like and what I imagine Joe Biden smells like are exactly the same. 

It’s time to wake up, smell the roses, and call it as we see it. “Synchronous” and “Asynchronous” must be replaced with “Fuck” and “Fuck Me In The Ass.”