Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Becky Weisberg


Advanced Registration, Finding a Subletter, and 4 Other Activities Guaranteed to Give You a Blood Clot

For all the anti-vaxxers, anti-waxxers, anti-inheritance-taxxers, and anti-sexual-climaxxers out there - do you commonly find yourself wishing that you too had equal access to life-threatening blood clots?

Breaking: Pennsylvania to Legalize Marijuana

On April 20, Pennsylvania became the 16th state to legalize recreational marijuana after a years-long campaign to decriminalize the drug. 

University of Pennsylvania Declares April 20th: "Disengagement Day"

With the final Engagement Day having come and gone, and the spring weather being so fucking noice, we are delighted to update you that the University Life and New Student Orientation and Academic Initiatives (NSOAI) has declared Tuesday, April 20th, 2021: Disengagement Day.

Becky Weisberg and Mikayla Golub | Penn must divest from Penn

We cannot even imagine the depth and breadth of Penn's sphere of influence. There's the saying "money makes the world go 'round," but I think the more apt expression is: "money makes the world burn, especially if it's Penn's money." 

V-Day Activity! Fuck, Marry, Kill - Penn Edition

Marry: All of them - Don’t be stupid.

BREAKING: The Rodin Tent Under All That Snow

As of late Tuesday morning, the high rise field testing tent’s structure was reported to be “under more stress than I am,” said a second-semester senior who still needs to get into three more sector classes.

Testing Centers Provide Hot TAs to Stare at While You Salivate

Whenever my TA Albert plays the devilu2019s advocate in our ethics break out rooms, my mouth becomes wetter than that massive puddle that forms outside of Commons | Becky Weisberg

Michael Prioritizing Self This Semester, Drops Every Class With A Canvas Page

The discussion post font makes me want to vomit, the app is so poorly organized that sometimes I really believe it’s worse than ‘Penn Eats’, and the ‘Zoom’ tab never. Has. The. Fucking. Link.

An Ivy League Student’s Guide to Reading Analog Clocks

Try saying “quarter to twelve”, “half-past ten”, or “a third into fourteen.” These phrases will throw that unwieldy math back at your audience, forcing them to be the ones to struggle with fractions.

Pretty Rainbow WordArt and 5 Other Ways To Gently Tell Yourself That Penn Won't Be Reopening in January

You’re all thinking it, and you’re all too afraid to say it.

Late Night Wawa Runs to Increase 420% With NJ Marijuana Legalization

Here is a list of people who are happy about weed being legal in NJ: Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians, Green Party people, people who didn’t vote, college students, adults, people of color, white people, convenience store owners, Penn admins, the producers of Animal Planet, and me.

Joe Biden Doesn't See Red States and Blue States. He Sees a One State Solution

Biden has famously responded: “Palestinians have to learn to stop viewing their opponents as enemies”, “I love Hamas! I put it on my falafel all the time” and, “Israel? What’s that?”

Coronavirus Caused Me To Lose My Sense of Taste In Men

I am still having trouble tasting the difference between a genuine, loving companion and that frat guy who told me, “You know, you and my dad’s yacht have something in common. You can both handle my load.” 

OP-ED: Only Losers Vote Early. I'm Voting Fashionably Late.

So today, November 5th, when I cast my vote, I will bring the action and the excitement. I will be the life of the party - both Democratic and Republican. And, most importantly, I will be the only insta-story with a pic at the polls.

OP-ED: Spotted Red Lantern Flies Are My Only Source of Physical Touch

At this point, I need to take what I can get, and what I can get is spotted red lantern flies.

OP-ED: I Like My Relationships Like My Closed-Note Exams: Full of Open, Unabashed Cheating.

Cheating is hot. It also has the potential to destroy relationships, families, general trust in humanity, and your pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive - but that just makes it hotter.

REPORT: Zoom A Capella Impossible and Also Unnecessary

After UTB reviewed a Shabbatones concert back in 2016, our staff figured that a Capella truly couldn't get any worse. However, following some unprecedented times back in March, it did.

BREAKING: ‘Right Outside of Philly’ Actually Encompasses the Entire World

One must understand that moving right, for long enough, really just takes you back to where you started. This realization naturally leads to the conclusion that all of the globe's latitudinal and longitudinal coordinates can be included in 'right outside of Philly.'

OP-ED: I Literally Would Have Cured Coronavirus by Now if My Lectures Actually Ended on Time

We could meal prep for the week, attend ten 60-second lectures, or take a really good shit - if only our professors actually respected our time.

Meal Prep! 10 Ways to Roast Your Veggies

Mushrooms, the only way youu2019ll ever get laid is to crawl up a chickenu2019s ass and wait.