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Good Girl! I Will Give Up My Virginity for Lent


Photo by Meresa García // The Daily Pennsylvanian

The only worthy way to commemorate my Savior’s journey of repentance is to give up my virginity for the next 40 days. Just as Jesus fasted in the desert (skinny legend) I will sex in the bed. 

I knew my 40 day sacrifice would be a difficult choice to make, so I was greatly overjoyed when my boyfriend said he would join me in my journey. Our bond has only grown stronger each night during our religious quaking. We are sure the ecstasy that ensues during our de-virgining is God’s divine presence. Are you here God? It’s me Meresa.  

I haven’t told my mom of my sacred decision, but I’m sure she will be proud that her daily bible readings have imbued in me the strong desire to practice the holy scripture. 

Lent is almost over, but my experience these past three weeks has made me think: is my virginity only worth 40 days? A blow job, some shower sex, and a full fingering later, I have come to the conclusion that my spiritual discipline will become my entry into sainthood. 

If Mother Teresa can devote her life to helping the poor, then I can devote my life to sacrificing my virginity.