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J. Larry Jameson Promises Golden Arches on Walnut Street: The Interim President’s Secret Weapon to Secure Prolonged Presidency

Photo Credits: Penn Today, CC, Carey Salvin//Edits by Carey Salvin

Penn's interim president, J. Larry Jameson, has unveiled a strategy to secure his continued stay in office: a promise to bring back the McDonald's on Walnut Street.

Jameson declared at a press conference: "I just think that eight orders of Chicken McNuggets© and six Oreo McFlurries© delivered by a fraternity pledge could probably solve our problems. Just like that one Pepsi ad when Kendall Jenner brought peace to a nation with merely one canned beverage."

As news of Jameson’s strategy has spread, the student body is divided on the issue. Some love it and some just don’t! 

As someone who went to that McDonald’s one time ever, I’m down for it coming back or not coming back. Whatever! C’est la vie!