Breaking: Girl files Course Action Notice citing "very petite, will be blown away by nor'easter" as reason for absence

Philadelphia, PA-  A sophomore decided to put herself first this week, and prioritize her well-being by taking a day off classes. She bravely submitted a Course Action Notice on account of her svelte figure, and this weekend's powerful nor'easter storm. 

With winds up to 90 miles per hour, this slender student knew she wouldn't survive walking down Locust Walk. "I mean, I'm like as light as a feather," she exclaimed, adding, "It's really unreasonable of my professors to expect me to come to class on a day like today. It's not my fault I'm so delicate." 

By filing this Course Action Notice Alexis* has set a groundbreaking precedent, making huge progress for fellow Quakers who share her affliction. When asked to comment, a spokesperson from Penn's Administration affirmed that "too petite, will be blown away" will now be accepted as an excused absence. 

This comes as a great relief for Alexis who was very worried about having to miss her Marketing 1010 class and Management seminar. Apparently, this activist spirit has been brewing within her for a while, ever since she was blown into an open dumpster while walking to her car during Hurricane Sandy in 2012. 

"I'm just glad that I can help keep other people safe," she said after finding out that her Course Action Notice was approved. "I'm willing to do anything it takes." 

It's safe to say Alexis will be missed in class.

*Name has been changed to protect the individual's identity.