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Free Iced Coffee at Saxby's -- In Philly and in need of something to cool you down? Each Friday in August, you can head to Saxby’s to get a FREE 12 oz. cup of something they’re calling “Cold Brew Iced Coffee” (capitalization not ours) which we’re assuming--just guessing here--is like normal iced coffee except cold brewed.
An anonymous University staff member told the DP that Wagner’s thefts, which occurred over a three-year period, ranged from selling stolen gym equipment on eBay to emptying the wallets people left in gym lockers. Wagner was handcuffed and escorted out of Pottruck in the middle of the day by police.
WAWA ROBBED -- Put down that mimosa glass and join hands in a prayer circle for Our Holiest of Holies, the Wawa on 38th Street and Spruce. At 5 A.M. this morning, an armed man entered and robbed our Guiding Light, our Raison d'Etre. Thankfully there were no injuries reported, but in these trying times, the #1 in our munchie-rotation needs our undivided support.
Faithful readers, today we bring you (gently) to that dark time in early October when late-night drunchie mainstay, DP Dough, closed its doors forever. In the months since, we’ve done our best to adjust, either by hustling to Allegro’s or resigning ourselves to Axis, but still, DP Dough’s departure left an empty space in our hearts as big as the one left on 40th Street.
When the CITsender emails appear in our inboxes, it's hard to know how to feel. They can deliver joy at achieving a high grade, relief at managing a less-high grade, or shock at receiving a much lower grade than predicted. One finance student who found himself in such a condition decided not to stand idly by and emailed his professor asking for a course regrade.
It’s hard out there for a PIMP – aka Professors In Mothering Positions. Former Penn assistant professor Kristen Stromerg Childers is filing a lawsuit against the university claiming that she was discriminated against because of her gender and child care obligations.
We all break down during finals at some point, whether it’s when we realize that no amount of cramming will make up for having attended zero lectures all semester, when our computer crashes and we lose a paper we’ve been working on all night, or when we realize the Lord of the Rings marathon was a baaaad idea. But where to let loose? UTB’s got the crying guide for you.
Scene opens with Amy Gutmann sitting on a couch in her ivory mansion on Walnut. In one hand, she holds a photo album. In the other, a glass of Franzia (which is less likely: the bagged wine or being in her campus house?)...
Remember fall of your freshman year when you were so excited to get emails? Forget doing your own laundry or managing your finances (lol); having more than three unread messages is adulthood.
Wharton senior Tania Chairez was just named the second most inspiring Latina under 25 for her work in coming out and representing undocumented Americans. Chairez was arrested in 2012, but is still fighting for the rights of people like her today. UTB would like to recognize and applaud Chairez for this incredible achievement. Seriously, your citation over Fling weekend has nothing on this. We'd also like to note that Chairez was a full four spots above Selena Gomez--which we’ll just let speak for itself.
Still desperate for floor passes? Tryna get as close as possible to David Guetta’s sweaty turntable-spinnin’, beat-droppin’ bod? Too proud of your carefully-curated Insta to participate in the bizarrely involved contests for floor passes SPEC held last week? Well clear your schedule for today, because all that’s standing between you and two floor pass vouchers (yes, you still have to actually pay for the tickets) is your talent for decoding puns and knowledge of obscure Penn trivia. SPEC is holding a scavenger hunt, which is your FINAL CHANCE to get floor passes without paying some lucky lottery winner an arm and a leg.
When asked what factor most influenced their vote, 38% of respondents said the catchiness of the candidate’s campaign slogan, 32% said the attractiveness of the candidate’s posters, 11% said the attractiveness of the candidate, 10% said, “Am I voting? Someone just shoved this computer in my face” and 9% said they just clicked on whichever name jumped out at them first. When asked if the candidates’ platforms had any effect on their vote whatsoever, 88% of respondents said, quote, “No.”
Who are you and why are you out here? We’re Bloomers, Penn’s all-female musical and sketch comedy group. We’re flying for our show, Snowpocalypse Now. We chose the title a few months ago, though, before all this crazy weather happened.
It’s totally fine that after a weekend of sunshine, high(er) temperatures and gentle breezes that caressed our winter-weary faces with the promise of the coming spring, it is snowing. It is totally 100%, fine We are handling this really well, thanks for asking. And no, we did not just spend the past two hours trawling through Penn’s digital archives looking at photos of better days gone by, like this one from 1921 featuring scary lady-nymph Penn students celebrating May Day without even having the decency to smile, or at least pretend they’re enjoying the fact that they can wear short sleeves sans hypothermia.
Every two years, the world watches with baited breath as the elite battle it out for supremacy. We’re not talking about the Olympics – let’s be real, winning an Olympic medal is as meaningless as winning America’s Next Top Model. No, what truly matters in this day and age is social media dominance. But who will claim the throne? Five schools. Five days. Five photos. Five gold medals. One Champion. This is… Alumpics.
From the first day of freshman year, as you walked through the Quad sighing dreamily at the picturesque #socollege look of your new home, it was clear that Penn was a magical place, where – OH MY GOD DID YOU JUST SEE THAT SQUIRREL FLY LIKE TEN FEET FROM ONE TREE TO ANOTHER?!?! Dad?? Dad, did you see that???
Still Day One
Day One:
On this finals-eve morning, all the work you didn’t do on the first Reading Day may be stressing you out. But before you let your blood pressure levels climb through the room, close your textbooks and release that highlighter from its death-grip to take a moment to imagine how much worse everything could be. It’s therapeutic, or something.
When you came-to after your Thanksgiving food-bender, surrounded by dirty plates, half-eaten pie crusts, and piles of gnawed-on turkey bones, you may have had a moment of regret for your indulgence. If you’re anything like us, your next thought was, “If only True-Blood-star and massive-muscle-man Joe Manganiello were here to give me some workout tips!” Well today’s your lucky day, kids!