Turn Off Your Phones, Get Penn To Pay For Your BYO

Scene opens with Amy Gutmann sitting on a couch in her ivory mansion on Walnut. In one hand, she holds a photo album. In the other, a glass of Franzia (which is less likely: the bagged wine or being in her campus house?)...

Amy: What’s wrong with college kids these days? They go out to dinner with their friends and spend half the time updating their Snapchat story and the other half Instagramming their meal. I remember when BYOs were a time of boat races, Slap the Bag and other tomfoolery. Alas, I fear the Golden Age has passed with no sign of return….

SAS Student Technology Advisory Board Member enters scene.

SASSTABM: Madame President, what if we used University money to subsidize BYOs for students, as long as they pinkie promise to not use their phones the whole time?

Amy: The perfect idea! I’m willing to sacrifice one of my fabulous pantsuits if it means bringing this campus closer together!

Next week is Penn Disconnect, a week of activities focused on encouraging us to put our phones down and just talk to each other, goddammit! There’s a whole host of events, but we’re most interested in these [Dis]Connected BYOs. If you and a group of friends agree to turn off your phones for an entire dinner, you’ll get $20 of your meal paid for. Our only question? Whether LCE will nab A-Gut for potentially funding underage drinking. For some reason, we don’t think so.