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Unless you have been living under a rock, you know that Joe Biden is on campus. That said, the Vice President isn’t the only celeb strolling down Locust Walk today. Penn Alum Elizabeth Banks is joining Penn for Hillary and Penn Dems today, to register voters! She will be at the LGBT Center from 4:30 to 6pm. So drop everything and head over. There will always be another class/recitation/midterm but how often do you get to hang out with a famous person? Also, voting is important. Your professors will understand.
Let me start off by saying that I love cheese. I cannot emphasize this enough. Cheese is the greatest thing on this earth and I eat a shit ton of it (I’m a vegetarian, ok, cheese is PROTEIN so it is for my health).
PSA: Federal Donuts is currently giving away FREE donuts to all customers with a student ID. We repeat: FREE DONUTS. FREE! That’s all, get back to the books.
We're deep into reading days, people. But of course, since we are the school that embodies “work hard, play hard,” we’re also well into formals season. So how do you have a great time without failing out of school? UTB has the answers. Try out these tips for how to study at a formal!
We are in the midst of reading days. Some people may go home, others might board a plane to the Bahamas. But the majority of us staying here have to ask ourselves a most difficult question: where to study? VP and Huntsman are always suffocatingly packed, so we decided to hash out an age-old, though slightly more unorthodox choice: Your Own Room.
ATTENTION ALL SENIORS: Spring has sprung, classes are coming to a close, and now it’s time to make Penn great again. Last Hurrah (aka Penn Tinder for seniors) is back! We are currently T – 48 hours away from the relaunch of the app that makes seniors’ hook-up dreams come true. So gear up for the most unproductive reading days of your college career because you have more important things (people) to do.
Some say Fling is a shit show. You probably almost lost your shit when Chance the Rapper was over an hour late for the concert, went ape-shit at every darty, and took shitty pics with your friends. But what we really want to know is, where did you leave your shit? Because this lovely piece of human feces was found in the windowsill of an apartment.
Fling is upon us people! That means carnivals, bouncy houses, food trucks, and frat parties galore. But, let’s be honest, what really matters is what’s going on outside of campus – downtowns. And this year, Penn’s hottest party is...the St. A’s and Theos Pool Party!
Harvest recently joined Chipotle on the list of beloved yet germ-ridden eating establishments on campus, and we know how tough that's been for everyone. What is to be done? Do we just jump ship to Qdoba/City Tap? What of loyalty and second chances? It's a tough one, which is why we've laid out the most salient arguments here for you. Take heart and hang in there.
A lot of stuff happened this weekend: St. Fratty’s, snow, and oh, the Fling 2016 headliner was revealed. But if by chance you have zero clue who Chance the Rapper is (i.e., you thought when people said “the rapper” it was just a helpful description, not part of the his stage name), don’t worry! You aren’t alone. Here’s all you need to know so you can take a chance on Chance this April:
So you’re thinking of signing up for the Love Run half marathon (or full, go you!) in April or the Broad Street Run in
May. But maybe…
don’t? We’re here to help you decide.
Are you a really talented actor, rapper, or dancer? Are you obsessed with the upcoming Commencement speaker Lin-Manuel Miranda? Do you really just want to knock that annoying girl in your econ class, who thinks she is the shit since she got an internship at Goldman, down a peg? Well then this is your chance: Hamilton is hosting auditions in Philly. Nothing will get you more Instagram likes, easy access to Smokes, party invites, oh and actual success in your future than a role in this Broadway hit.
Valentine’s weekend is over. So you definitely thought all the rose deliveries, serenades, and hooking up was over. But sadly, for some of us that’s not the case. You’ve tried being understanding, but enough is enough. It’s Monday and this ends now. Here're our tips for what to do if your roommate/hall-mate (the walls aren’t that soundproof, folks) will NOT stop having sex.
Do you look forward to your 8am math recitation? Are you constantly looking for new essays on 16th century humanism on Google Scholar just “for fun”? Your parents may think your professor has inspired you, giving you a whole new outlook on the world of academia. But, we know the truth – you’re hot for TA.
The moment you walk into Hill you hear a slight pitter patter coming from the building. Upon entering the belly of the beast (otherwise known as the Hill Dining Hall) you realize it’s just the sound of the Hill Fountain – this week’s Most Depressing Place on Campus.
Don’t think sandwiches, sinkholes, and Instagram have anything in common? Think again! Currently, 40th street is blocked off due to a sinkhole in front of Jake’s Sandwich Board. From now till the sinkhole is repaired, Jake’s is offering 10% off to costumers who Insta pics of themselves in front of the sinkhole and tag the restaurant. It’s as simple as that. Just don’t forget to show the cashier your Insta pic.
Move over Ben Franklin, because Alexander Hamilton is coming to town. THE Lin-Manuel Miranda is Penn's 2016 commencement speaker. Let’s repeat that: Lin-Manuel Miranda – the creator, composer, lyricist, and star of the hit Broadway musical Hamilton – is coming to Penn.
If you’re muddling through finals thinking that all of this studying is worth it because after you graduate you’ll be a successful, jet-setting, and glamorous billionaire – think again. Fake money, which looks like it came from a Monopoly knock-off, was spotted in Huntsman this week. The only place these 100s will get you is a prison, for possession of counterfeit currency. Or, if you’re lucky, you’ll be able to put a down payment on your own, Wharton grad designed, shipping container house. So unless the holy Goldman Shrine has the power to turn fake money into gold, mark “Jumping for joy after finding $100, because now you can afford that cool chair from the Starbucks furniture store...only to realize the money is fake” as the 101st reason why this week sucks.
Not only do Philadelphians take deep pride in cheesesteak and the Eagles, but also their accent. So much pride that, over time, the Philly accent has even developed in American Sign Language. Currently, two linguists at Penn are working to document this.