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Sophomore’s Seasonal Excuse for Procrastination Becomes ‘It’s Spooky Szn’


Photo by darksouls1 / CC0

Boo, bitches. The crisp autumn air means Starbucks menus have flipped and sorority trips to Linvilla Orchards are in full swing. Though with this pleasant change of weather comes another difficult change as classes become more intense for Wharton sophomore Jessica Daniels.

“Obviously, as an Ivy League student, school is always my first priority, but it’s becoming so impossible to focus on studying lately. I mean, how can I? It’s spooky szn. Make sure you write that down correctly. That’s ‘szn,’ sans vowels,” explained Daniels.

However, it's not haunted houses, pumpkin carving and ghosting that are causing the onset of Daniels procrastination. In fact, “spooky szn” is simply a continuation of her cycle of seasonal excuses for procrastination. 

First was Labor Day, then there was "soaking up the last of summer sunshine," which then led to her best friend’s sister’s wedding and the season premiere of “Grey’s Anatomy,” next there was that weekend of immobility due to the announcement of the Philadelphia Flyers’ new mascot Gritty, and, finally, spooky szn.

“I’m constantly studying, writing papers, and working on being the best student I can be, but sometimes I’m bogged down by the world around me. I simply can’t be expected to think about accounting when Halloween is less than ten days away. That’s absurd,” said Daniels. 

An eerily similar statement was given preceding National Boyfriend Day on October 3rd.

“God, I have so much to do, but first I need to watch all reruns of ABC Family’s 31 Nights of Halloween.”